Carpe Diem
by mwahwee
Summary: Story about 22 year old Haylee who moves to Charming with her neice trying to find out more about her dad following her sisters death. Juice/OC
1. Chapter 1  Blast From The Past

I own nothing SOA related. Takes place before Season 1. My OC's, Haylee and Daisy are all mine though! Review and let me know if you like it or hate it. I know its hard to tell with it just being one chapter but I'd love to know your opinion on it. I'm making no promises on updating regularly, just as inspiration strikes and when I have the time to write. Sorry for any spelling mistakes. Links to picks of characters are on my page!

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

Blast From The Past

"Just fucking fantastic." I said to myself as I pulled my piece of shit truck onto the side of the road. Just my luck trying to get somewhere to our new rental that it would choose to break down in the middle of nowhere. I looked in the back seat and thankfully Daisy, my four year old niece was still sleeping. I pulled out my cell and called 411. About five minutes late the operator was connecting me to Teller - Morrow Auto Shop.

"Teller - Morrow how can I help you?" A female voice said.

"I need a tow. I'm about ten miles outside of Charming I think. You guys do tow don't you?" I said. Hell, my luck they wouldn't and I would have to walk carrying Daisy to our new apartment.

"Yes we do. I'll get someone out there as soon as I can. What is your name?" The lady said.

"Haylee." I said.

"Okay Haylee. Someone's on there way." The lady said.

I lifted up my seat and woke up Daisy. She'd been sleep here all the way from Arizona, where we stopped and stayed at a hotel. What kind of message was my sister leaving me? Go to fucking Charming, California for answers about Daddy. What the hell did that mean?

"Are we there Hayhay?" Daisy asked me.

"Not yet sweetie. The truck stopped working. We got to wait for someone to come pick us up." I said.

"Is mommy here?" She asked me. My heart broke for her every single time she asked.

"No sweetie. Mommy's with Jesus remember?" I said.

"Oh." Was all she said then she puckered her lip and started to cry. She'd been doing that a lot lately, but it was to be expected right? I debated taking her to see a counselor, and I'm leaning towards taking her. As I held her and soothed her a tow truck pulled up. Out hopped a latino I assume, with a Mohawk and lightening bolts tattooed on either side of the Mohawk and a man with graying hair and scars on both sides of his face that stretched up as if it was a smile.

"What seems to be the problem with the truck?" Mr. Lightening Bolts asked me

"It's a piece of shit." I said.

"You got to put a dollar in the piggy bank HayHay." My niece said giggling at me. She seemed to cheer up fast.

"Okay I will when we get home and everything unpacked." I said.

"We'll get it hooked up and head out to the garage then." Lightening bolts said.

About ten minutes later and lightening bolts, getting smacked in the back of the head by Mr. Smile the truck was hooked up. We climbed in the tow truck and with Daisy on my lap, I was squeezed in between the two men.

"Can my room be all Tinkerbell?" Daisy asked me.

"Anything you want sweetie." I said while pulling her hair up into a pony tail.

"I'm Chibs and the idiot there's Juice." Mr. Smile said.

"Haylee." I said.

"How old is she?" Chibs asked.

"Just turned four." I said

"Yeah and my mommy and Hayhay through me the awesomest party ever!" She said enthusiastically then she started crying. Yeah, she probably did need to talk to a counselor.

"Shh, it's okay princess. Your mommy wouldn't want you to be sad." I said rubbing circles on her back.

We arrived at Teller Morrow just about the time Daisy fell asleep. Climbing out of the tow truck would probably be a problem with Daisy.

"I can take her so you can get down." Juice said.

"No." I said. I was a little over protective of Daisy I guess.

"Just trying to help." He muttered before climbing down.

I got Daisy down with a lot of balancing on my part, but luckily she didn't wake up. I walked into the garage to ask where the office was. I walked up to a man with gray hair whose name tag said 'Clay'.

"Exscuse me sir." I said tapping him on the shoulder.

"How may I." He said, "Wow aren't you just like a blast from the past."

"Uh excuse me? I don't believe I've ever met you." I said confused.

"Sorry you just look a lot like my wife did when I first met her." He said.

"Oh. Where's the office?" I asked.

"Right through there." He said pointing to a door."

"Thanks." I said and made my way to the office.

I walked over and was almost to the office when Jucie hollered, "Hey Haylee!"

I turned to look at him and he was holding Daisy's favorite doll. I walked over to him and he said, "Figured you might want that in case she wakes up."

"Thanks." I said then walked back over to the office and made it in. A woman probally in her late forties or early fifties was in there doing paperwork. I cleared my throat to let her know I was there.

"Hi. I'm Haylee. I called earlier." I said.

The lady looked at me and her eyes were wide like I was some fucking ghost or something.

"Okay. Your name how's it spelled? And your last name.?" She said like she had an alterior motive.

"H - A - Y - L - E - E Last name M - A - D - O - C - K" I said.

"Who's your father?" She asked me.

"What's that got to do with getting my truck fixed?" I asked puzzled. Shouldn't she be asking for my address, phone number, and stuff like that.

"Security question." She said smiling at me.

"Oh. Okay. Nate Madock Junior." I said, "But if you want to know more than that your out of luck cause honestly thats all I know." I said.

"Holy shit." The lady said.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Well sweetie, My names Gemma Teller Morrow and my maiden names Madock and I'm your Aunt." She said smiling big at me.

"Thats why she sent me here." I said to myself.

"Who sent you here?" Gemma asked.

"My sister uhm passed away about a month or so ago and left me a letter saying that if I wanted to know more about Daddy to come to Charming." I said.

"I'm sorry for your loss. Who's your Mom?" She said looking at Daisy.

"My mom in all sense of the word was my sister. But the bitch who gave birth to me was Alicia Melder." I said.

"Ah, I never liked her. That little girl is gorgeous. What's her name?" She said.

"This is Daisy Blayke Anderson." I said smiling down at my neice.

"So I'm a great Aunt? Way to make me feel old." Gemma said laughing.

"She's my niece." I explained.

"How much ink you got? Your going to fit in great around here." She said smiling.

"Four tattoos. This one -" I said pointing to my wrist, "say carpe diem which means seize the day, this one - " I said pulling up my pant leg " is for Daisy. I called her Daisy B for a while hens the daisies and the bee, then I have tribal on my lower back and on my shoulder I have one for my sister, Gretchen."

"Oh. Thats sweet. How old are you anyways?" She asked.

"Just turned twenty two." I said.

"Your trucks running." Juice said smiling.

"What was wrong?" I asked wondering why the hell he was smiling.

"It needed oil like bad." Juice said busting up laughing.

I literally felt like an idiot. Oil? Thats it?

"Thanks." I said blushing because of my dumbness.

"Come over for dinner tonight." Gemma said. I knew it was more of an order than a question, but luckily for me, I don't take orders from anyone, but I'm not goint to be a total bitch about it.

"I got to unpack and stuff. Maybe some other time?" I said.

"Sure. I'll come by and help you." Gemma said.

I really didn't want some long lost relative helping me unpack. "You don't have to. I'm sure you have your hands full." I said trying to be polite.

"Its nothing. We'll get going in a minute, but first ready to meet people?" Gemma said smiling.

"Sure." I said trying to sound enthusiastic, but in all honestly I just wanted to drive home unpack anf go to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day and it looked like today just got longer.


	2. Chapter 2 What's your problem?

**So, I'm really glad people like it! Its really helpful for me to know people's opinion on my story. Again I own nothing but my OC's Haylee and Daisy. Sorry for any spelling mistakes! Please read and review!**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

What's Your Problem?

"This is Clay my husband, Tig, Opie, Bobby, Jax your cousin, Piney, our prospect Half Sack, and you've already met Chibs and Juice." Gemma said gesturing to each of the guys she had made line up like she was a drill sergeant. Most of them had pretty weird names, I didn't even want to find out on how Half Sack got his name.

"Cousin?" Jax asked. He was definitely confused. Hell, from the looks of it they all were.

"Well, I had a brother, maybe still have, but anyways he was older than me. Left when I was thirteen? Yeah thirteen. This is his daughter, Haylee Madock." Gemma said gesturing to me.

They were all pretty shocked. Well I guess they didn't quite expect Gemma's niece from a brother everyone but Gemma knew nothing about to show up in Charming. Why couldn't of Gretchen warned me about this? Hell, why didn't she come out here before she died. I mean sure, she wasn't biologically Nate's but he raised her more than he did me. She got 12 years with him I got 6. I remember his face and his name but that was about it.

After what seemed like hours of silence, Clay finally said, "Welcome to the family." Then they all went about there work.

I got Daisy in her booster seat and was hoping Gemma would forget about coming to help me unpack. I needed time to digest all this and try to figure out my sister's motives.

"Half Sack, Juice!" Gemma hollered.

"Yeah?" Juice asked.

"Follow us to Haylee's. We're helping her unpack." Gemma said. Damn, why couldn't she of just forgot. I had a feeling she was definitely the type to pry, and but her nose in where it didn't belong. This would take some time to get used too.

They didn't reply just got on their motorcycle's and started them. Gemma got in her car and I started the truck and pulled out of TM. _Be careful what you wish for _was definitely a true saying. Wish for a family every year for as long as you can remember, and you might just get one. In their biker glory and all.

"How are you going to survive with this little stuff?" Gemma asked me. It was true we didn't have much. I fit as much as that would fit in my truck and left the rest. Daisy had everything she practically owned, except for her pink escalade power wheels. I just had the necessities: bed, clothes, shoes, makeup, and jewelry. I'd buy the rest as I could, but Daisy would not suffer because of this move. That is something I would damn well make sure of.

"Daisy's got everything she needs. I got what I need. I'll buy the rest as I can." I said.

"I can help you out." Gemma said smiling.

"With all due respect, I've been a charity case since I was three bouncing in and out of different foster care homes till my sister turned 18. I don't need charity," I said honestly trying not to be rude.

"Think of it as belated birthday and Christmas presents." Gemma said. I could see her struggling with me saying no. It was obviously not something she was use too.

"That's really not necessary." I said to her.

"Either you come with me and pick out what you need or I'll pick it out for you and I can see we don't have quite the same taste." Gemma said pointing to my sundress and cowboy boots.

One thing about me, I know when I'm fighting a losing battle and this was definitely one of those times. "Fine." I said forcing a smile. I did not like to except charity. Nope, not one bit. I still remember my social worker tried to give me these hammy down clothes, they were ugly as all hell, stained, and she was a bitch. So when I said no thank you she said 'beggars can't be choosers' which really set me off. I politely told her to fuck off and asked her if she ever saw me begging. That was the end of my foster care life. Gretchen let me move in with her after that. I was 12 and she was 18.

"Glad you seen it my way." Gemma said smiling, obviously happy that she got her way.

I walked into my apartment. I hadn't seen it yet but was quite shocked that it was advertised as being so nice, but the rent was cheap at least to me. Back home for the same price, we lived in a not so nice part of town and the apartment was crabby. This one was just gorgeous and not only did I have my own room (I shared with Daisy back home) but I had a walk in closet and my own bathroom. I was literally in heaven.

I'm not really sure if you would call it a apartment or not, technically it was part of a duplex but looked just like a house, does that make it an apartment? It didn't matter we'd have our own house soon, I had three years left of law then we'd have one of the nicest houses in Charming, if I choose to stick around that is.

Daisy was in her room instructing Juice on how she wanted her bed set up and then once Juice had it set up that way she'd change her mind completely and giggle about it. She was playing a game. I laughed and watched. After about five minutes of watching I said, "Daisy be nice now. Decide where you want you bed." Her bed was your typical toddler bed you can get from Wal-Mart. Purple with Tinkerbell. She loved Tinkerbell. It made me proud to call her my niece.

"Thanks." Juice mumbled before walking out. He was so nice earlier today, what the hell happened?

"Let's make your bed then I'll put the canopy up." I said smiling at my niece. We made her bed with her tinkerbell set, and then her purple canopy was hooked into the sealing and her bed was done.

I find Juice sitting in my living room hooking up my computer, but Gemma and Half Sack were nowhere to be found. "Where's Gemma?" I asked.

"Drama with Jax's ex old lady. Had to leave." He said like he was pissed off. What the hell is an old lady? Like a gray haired - pants up to your saggy tits - bingo playing old lady? What the hell would Jax being doing with someone that old? Then again, I know nothing about Jax or his preference in men, or almost extinct things.

"Oh. Thanks for helping." I said trying to be polite.

"Not like I had much of a choice." He said. He was being a dick and I was about to find out why.

"What the fuck's your problem with me?" I asked him angrily.

"Maybe you coming here and acting all Miss innocent victim?" Juice asked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I was by no means playing anything, and I was not a victim, I was just me who had bad shit happen to her.

"Like you don't know." He said with a icy tone to his voice.

"I beg your pardon?" I said slightly raising my voice. I was beyond confused.

"Your sister. You. Me. Neighbors. You and your sister killed your Dad." Juice practically shouted at me.

"No we didn't. Are you like high or something? And we were never neighbors." I said. What the fuck was he getting at?

"Hmm." He said, "Maybe she did it on her own then?"

"My sister would never kill my dad. She loved him." I said. He just must be as dumb as everyone says.

"You know who your sisters realy Dad is right?" He asked.

"No, but just because I don't know that doesn't mean she killed my dad." I said defending my sister.

"Vincent Asaro Jr. Next in line for the Bonanno crime family." He said a look of sadness in his eyes.

"How would you know that?" I asked confused.

"Let me tell you a story and if you didn't take any part in this story as you claim, I'm sorry for being a dick." He said.

"Fine. Go on." I said wanting to find out about what the hell he was talking about.

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><p><strong>What'd you think?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3 Truth or Lie?

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! They mean alot to me! Oh, and I'll try to keep each chapter as interesting. I own nothing just Haylee and Daisy. Sorry for any spelling mistakes. Please drop me a review and lemme know whatcha think!(:**

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><p><em>"Let me tell you a story and if you didn't take any part in this story as you claim, I'm sorry for being a dick." He said.<em>

_"Fine. Go on." I said wanting to find out about what the hell he was talking about._

**_Chapter 3: Truth or Lie? _**

"Do you remember living in New York?" Juice asked me. I swear to god this boy is on some hella good drugs. I've lived in Texas for as long as I can remember and my sister always told me I was born here.

"I never lived in New York." I said. Man, was he really as stupid as everybody said?

"Don't believe me? I got proof." He said reaching into his wallet and pulling out a picture of him around age nine I would say and two girls one possible between eleven and thirteen - Gretchen, the other girl, five or six year old ME.

"I don't remember this." I said calmly. I always got calm before I started freaking out bad. My sister use to call it 'Calm Before the Tornado' her words, not mine. Now my sister who I love with all my heart killed my father? No fucking way. Nu - uh just not freaking possible. I saw the way she was with Daisy and hell even the way she was with me. She couldn't have ever hurt a fly.

"Anyways your Mom always wanted to be Vincent. Don't ask me for the specifics there cause I don't know. So I come home from my friends house one day right your apartment door was kicked wide open. Your sister had a gun in her hands, you were standing right by her, your Mom on the other side. Mom and sister were smiling like fucking idiots you were just standing there." Juice said a sad look in his eyes.

"What?" I said. How could that be possible?

"My mom came home from work early that night, your sister shot her. I was hiding in a closet fucking scared shitless and you screamed. Your sister said 'You wouldn't want her to take me away Hay would you? She needed to die just like Daddy right?' You said something along the lines of 'I don't want to leave you' Then they made a call and some men showed up and hauled the bodies off set it up where it looked like a mugging gone bad which was perfectly understandable in our neighborhood. I got carted off to California to live with my Great Aunt who might I say was a fucking bitch." Juice said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Get out. Your lying." I said calmly.

"You got so brainwashed it's pat -" He said but I cut him off.

"Get the fuck out NOW!" I screamed so loud it woke Daisy up who apparently had been putting toys away in her room.

Juice left and Daisy said "What were you yelling at him for? He's nice." She was slightly pouting. I guess Juice and her had bonded when he was setting up her bed for her.

"Nothing sweetie." I said trying to stay calm, but the rage was dying to escape, that mixed with the uncertainty of not knowing what is the truth, just might send me over the edge. I got up and went with Daisy to her room and distracted her by putting all her stuff away. By the time we were done it was about nine p.m. I put her in the tub, and suprisingly she fell right to sleep. I was so pissed that it gave me energy, it might not make sense, but hey if it works it works. Anyways, I started in the living room and set up the tv and a couch that a past tenant had left behind, then I went through the rest of the rooms and put what little we had away. I should have never came to Charming. Worst mistake ever because now I have doubt about the one person that loved me unconditionally, and took care of me. God why the hell did life have to keep throwing me curveball after curveball.

I sat down on my bed and thought about everything Juice had said and everything I had known. In all honesty, if I wanted the truth there would be only one person I could go to - my now "sober" mother. The whole thing about the twelve steps is getting people to forgive you right? Well call me a bad person, but I plan on using that to my advantage. The fact that Gretchen stayed in touch was a little suspicous, even let her see Daisy. I will never ever ever allow that. But still that doens't mean she's a cold blooded killer. Would Gemma know? Did Gemma know? After pondering several more things I eventually fell into sleep and didn't have a single dream that I can recall.

I woke up to my phone going off. It was a number I hadn't programmed in but obviously someone else had - My oh so lovely new aunt Gemma.

"Hello" I said still half asleep.

"I'll be there in an hour to go shopping. Be ready. I hate waiting." Gemma said and before I could attempt to protest the line went dead.

I was going to try to get the answers I needed and if I didn't I'd call dear old 'Mommy' and get them - that was damn sure.


	4. Chapter 4 One Down, One to Go

A/N So I want to fix a mistake I made: when Haylee get's introduced to the guys: Opie isn't there. This is set one or two years before Season One and Opie would have been in prison. My apologies. Also I don't own nothing SOA related just my ideas and that's it. Please review and give me your opinion. I really think I should be able to keep updating regularly cause I'm in my school routine and have more time. Have a good day!

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 4<em>**

**_One Down, One to Go_**

We pulled up to the mall in Oakland, and Daisy was what you could call excited. Me, on the other hand, was dreading it. I mean on any other occasion, I would absolutely love to be shopping, but right now I had to figure out what the hell had actually happened to my dad. Had he been murdered by my sister and fucking mother? Or did he abandon us when Mom started using like Gretchen said? I was hoping Gemma could possibly know something. If not, I'd have to tuck all my issues that I have with my mom away and make a phone call I did not want to make.

"So which store first?" Gemma asked breaking me out of my train of thought.

"Uh, doesn't matter to me. Whatever you or Daisy want." I said faking a smile at her.

"Okay Daisy what store do you want to go to?" Gemma said looking at the little girl with a smile on her face.

"Claire's!" Daisy all but squealed. She absolutely, positively loved that store. But what little girl doesn't?

We walked into the mall and made our way towards Claire's while Gemma mumbled on about something.

"Haylee?" Gemma said snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"What?" I asked. Yeah, today was not my day.

"You know what's up with Juice? Ever since he came back from your place he's apparently been in a piss poor mood." Gemma stated.

"Aunt Hayhay yelled at him last night!" Daisy said. That little girl loved to tattle.

"What happened?" Gemma asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"We had a uh difference of opinion." I said. In all honesty, that was the truth.

"About?" She said prying for more information.

"I actually want to talk to you about that. Maybe once were done here we could head to somewhere with a jungle gym thing so little ears can't hear?" I asked.

"Sure. You know this is completely up to you and all, but if you plan on staying in Charming, Clay and me own a decent sized house, nice sized yard and I know how much your paying at your apartment and we'd be willing to either rent or sell it to you contract for deed for that same amount." Gemma said. She always had a plan, always.

"You ain't got to do that. I'm sure you can find someone who can pay more than that." I said. I'd never lived in a house, ever. It would be nice.

"Trust me, the house needs work. Nothing major everything works but its in major need of some remodeling. And the yard would be good for Daisy." Gemma said.

"I'll think about it." I said, chewing on my button lip. I really didn't need another thing to add to my list of things to thing about. Not at all.

We made our way to Claire's and when Gemma told Daisy to pick out whatever she wanted her eyes lit up. It made me happy to see her happy. She hadn't ever been deprived, but she hadn't ever been told to get whatever she wanted either. One hundred fifty three dollars and twenty seven cents later, we were leaving Claire's with a very excited Daisy.

We then headed to some clothing stores and picked up a few outfits for Daisy and some for me to 'help me blend in around the clubhouse' according to Gemma. Gemma's idea of blended involved knee high leather boots, skin tight jeans, flannel shirts, and lots of black lace.

"So what do you do for work?" Gemma asked randomly.

"I'm an entertainer." I said choosing my words wisely.

"What kind of entertainer?" She asked using what I'm pretty sure was going to become world famous eyebrow raise.

"Exotic dancer." I said slowly.

"That's what you wanted to be when you were little?" She asked.

"No, I wanted to be a lawyer, and I'm in law school, but it pays the bills and I'm good at it." I said hoping she wouldn't get mad. Me and Gemma had really bonded over our little shopping trip. I had even agreed to buy the house from her if I liked it. Things were starting to look up, but I didn't feel that they would once we had the talk we were heading out of the mall for right now. Gemma decided that since I was considering the house, there was no point in buying anything until I decided that was for the house or apartment.

"Well as long as your working to better yourself I'm okay with it. Now lets go get something to eat." She stated.

We arrived at McDonald's about twenty minutes later, and with our food and Daisy playing in the play place, I decided now was the best time to have my talk with Gemma.

"So Gemma, did you know anything about my dad and me living in New York." I said. Not that this alone would confirm or deny the truth, but hey it was a start.

"Last time I heard from your Dad was about twenty four years ago. He was planning on moving to New York, but whether or not he ever did is anyone's guess. Why?" She asked.

"Just wondering." I said faking a smile.

"What about Juice? Can he be trusted to tell the truth?" I asked.

"He can be a little dumb at times, but yeah he'll tell you the truth as he knows it. Why? And what do Juice and New York and you all have to do with one another?" She said looking at me like she was left out of some big secret.

"I'll tell you as soon as I find out." I said thinking. One down one to go. But I'd rather tell Gemma all my deepest darkest secrets than even talk to my mom, but that wasn't an option. I had to call my mother, and deal with this shit head on, it was the only way I'd have peace of mind after everything Juice had told me.

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><p>So what do you think? And I'm sorry if it seems a bit rushed, just trying to get my ideas down before I lose them!(: I tried to draw this one out a bit more, and to whoever said they were confused about what Juice told Hailee, I'll be going into more details in a latter chapter regardless of whether or not what he said was true.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5 Plans, and Awkward Car Rides

**A/N: So this chapter turned out a whole lot longer than I intended and I'm worried I put in too much details? Please let me know.**

**I own nothing SOA related or the songs mentioned, just my ideas. **

**And jennifer11 you weren't being harsh at all. Sometimes I forget just because I know everything thats going on, doesn't mean the readers do. **

**lederra I'm working on trying to put in more details, like I said to jennifer11 I see it in my head and forget the readers don't. **

**I'm working on it though, so please hang in there with me! **

**Hope you like it & thanks for the reviews they're really helpful!**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 5<strong>_

_**Plans, and Awkward Car Rides**_

It had been exactly one week since my day with Gemma. I pretty much woke up, bathed, ate, fed, played with and and bathed Daisy, then took Daisy to Gemma's on nights I had to work for the past seven days. Other than Gemma, Clay, and Jax I'd been avoiding anyone associated with the club like the plaque in fear of having a run in with Juice. I did not want to talk to him till I figured this shit out, if ever. So far I'd been to chicken shit to call my mom. But last night I had a horrible dream that my sister, Gretchen, faked her death and came back to kill me. Yeah, that obviously freaked me the fuck out considering how close me and Gretch were. So I decided to call my mom. One phone conversation and then I'd know the truth.

"Hello." My mother said.

"It's Haylee." I said.

"Haylee baby how have you been?" She said her voice seeming sober, which all in all was a hell of a shock to me. I can't remember my mom ever not being high. But then again my earliest memory is at age 7. That's pretty wierd, but does not prove my sister killed my dad. I just cannot believe that.

I decided to get straight to my point. "Fine. What happened to Daddy?" I said pissed off that I had to call the one person I honestly hated.

"What do you mean? Calling me to ask about him." She said with a hint of disgust in her voice.

"Were you and Gretchen involved?" I said wishing she'd give me an answer, but then again dreading it. Man, am I getting multiple personalities or something? Nah, just got to be all this damn stress of not knowing.

"What happened with you dad is complicated. You should come see me. We could go out to lunch and discuss this." She said which pissed me off. Bitch never could give me a straight answer.

Knowing that I may never get this chance again, I decided to agree which made me even more mad. "Fine. Where you living at?" I said you could tell how pissed off I was in my voice.

"Lakewood, Washington. We can meet at Best Burgers." She said.

"Okay I'll call you when I get there." I said then hung up before she could say anything else. It pissed me off more than anything, that I had to be face to face with the woman who didn't give a damn about whether or not I froze or starved as a kid. All she cared about was whatever her drug or man of man of the week she was doing. A mom should love her child and provide for her, sacrificing whatever she had to for herself to make sure her kids had what they needed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the mom should go without, but her kid should definately be her first priority. Maybe I had 'Mommy" issues? Just not the wierd kind like some people have with Daddy issues thats for sure.

I walked into Daisy's room to check on her and she was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful. Thats one thing I wonder if I ever had as a kid - that look of peacefulness, happiness. I can't remember having it, but I had to of had it at one point? Right? Pushing those thoughts aside, I decided to get in the shower before I got Daisy up for the morning.

After getting out of the shower, I put on a pair of cutoff's black tanktop, did my makeup, and put some mousse in my naturally curly hair and went to get Daisy up.

"Morning HayHay." She said sleepily. She had bed head. What a joy it would be brushing those tangles out, but it needed to be done.

"Morning princess. What do you want for breakfeast?" I asked even though I already knew the answer Cocoa Puffs. They weren't healthy so I only let her haven them for breakfeast about once a week. Hey, she'll thank me later.

"Cocoa puffs!" She squealed. I swear I could be a psychic when it came to this little girl's favorite breakfeast cereal. Yupp, I sure could.

We headed into the kitchen and I got out her tinkerbell bowl, martching spoon, cocoa puffs, and milk and I made her a bowl of cocoa puff's.

I let her chatter on about how excited she was too start school this fall. I can't believe she's already old enought to be in Pre-K. Man, time sure does fly.

After she was finished eating, we went into her room and I grabbed her lavender sundress and bag of 'hair pretties' and headed into the bathroom to give her a bath.

After giving Diasy a bath, I got her dressed, then braided her hair into little pigtails. She looked so cute. I went and grabbed her lavender flip flops then loaded her up in my truck that had certainly seen better days. Once she was buckled in her booster seat, I got in, buckeled up and headed over to Gemma's.

Once we arrived at Gemma's, I realized no one was there. Damn. She must be at the shop, I thought to myself. Fuck shit damn. I really needed to ask her if she could watch Daisy for me.

Sighing, I pulled out my pink motorola razr out of my purse and called her.

"Hey Gemma?" I asked.

"Yeah it's me Haylee. What's up?" She said. She seemed kind of stressed.

"I just needed to talk to you. You at the shop?" I asked, hoping she'd say no.

"Yeah what'd you need?" She asked. _Great_ I thought sarcastically.

"I needed to ask you a big favor. Could you watch Daisy for me? I have to go up to Washington and I'll be gone three days max." I said. I really wanted to ask her in person, but I didn't want to go to the shop.

"I'd love too, but why do you have to go to Washington?" She said suspicon in her voice.

"I have to talk to my mom about something." I said not wanting to let her in on Juice's theory.

"I'll tell you what come to the shop and tell me what's going on, and I'll let you borrow my car." Gemma said. I don't know why she thought her promising to let me borrow her car would get me to tell her, but I knew I'd have to tell her sooner or later, but I didn't want to borrow her car. I was going to rent one, I didn't need my mom to know where I was living. Who knew what she'd do if she found out. Probally try to move here or come begging me for money whenever she 'fell off the wagon'. I didn't need that drama and Daisy sure as hell didn't either.

"I'll be there in ten." I said hanging up my phone and cranked up my mix CD my friend Jane had made me before I left. I write sins not tradgedies by Panic! at the Disco happened to be playing I listened to the song while driving then this part of the song came:

_Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door_

I immediately changed it because it made me thing of Juice's untrue story. I came to a conclusion that it just had to be not true. It just had to be. I was only going to talk to my mother so she could confirm that.

Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado came on and the rest of the ride went by smoothly. As I pulled into TM I had a feeling that things might not go by as smoothly as I hoped. Maybe it was because I was Juice talking to Gemma, I don't know, but that was the feeling I had. Pushing those thoughts aside I got Daisy out and walked up to Gemma.

"Hey baby girl. Glad you showed." Gemma said.

"Hey Gemma. I told you I was." I said trying to resist the urge to punch Juice. I'm normally not the super violent type. I only am violent went I'm threatened physically, but Juice has threatened me on a whole new level. He's trying to disrupt everything I've ever known in my life. Besides he was looking at me like I was the anti-christ or something.

"So what's in Washington?" Gemma asked as if she just asked about the weather or something similar to that.

"My mother." I said with a hint of disgust in my voice.

"Why you visiting her for?" Gemma looked at me with a look of total confusion. She knew how I felt about my mom.

"I have to talk to her about some things. I'll let you know everything when I get back I swear." I said smiling my best good girl smile.

"What are you going to do about work?" She said as if she was seriously interested in my work.

"My boss wants me. Shouldn't be that hard to persuade him to let me have a few days off." I said laughing a little bit. Bud, my boss, was a fifty-seven year old guy who made it very clear what he wanted. Yeah, exscuse me for being rude and all but I would never ever fuck someone thats old enough to be my dad. Its disgusting if you ask me. Not to mention he has a son thats older than me by like eight years. So yeah old enough to be my dad, check.

"Okay. I want you to take an escort though." Gemma said smiling. Thats when my mind connected the dots: Gemma talking to Juice, Juice giving me dirty looks (which could have been caused from his little story time episode) and Gemma's need to have some kind of control over everyone's life.

"Great. Who?" I said sarcastically cause I was ninety nine percent sure I already knew.

"Juice. You'll be taking my car as promised. No cut, so we should have much to worry about as far as our enemies are concerned." She said. I really didn't know what she meant by enemies, but I was pretty sure I didn't want to find out.

"Fantastic." I said sarcastically. "I plan on leaving tomorrow. Can I drop Daisy off around nineish?"

"Sure thing. I'll make sure Juice's ready to go." She said ignoring the fact that Juice was standing right next to her shooting daggers my way.

"See you then." I said then left, practically running for my truck. God isn't cruel, yeah fucking right.

_**~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!SOA~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~**_

After dropping off Daisy at Gemma's and loading up my stuff, one weekend bag, a tote with my makeup and hair stuff, and my purse and cds, I was headed to get Juice at the garage. Man, life blows.

Juice was ready to go luckily, and he got in the passenger seat and I was headed for Washington. Great.

Walk away by Kelly Clarkson came on and Juice changed it which pissed me off. The driver controlled the music. That's just how it is.

"Fucking mind?" I snapped at him.

"I'm not listening to that girly shit." He said calmly, which pissed me off more. If he was so fucking calm why couldn't I be? Oh thats right I'm about to find out the truth. Wait, scratch that I already knew the truth. Shake that by Eminem came on and he seemed to like it a little better, but hey he wasn't fucking with the radio so it was fine by me.

A few hours went by without any talk then I decided to be the bigger person and said, "Look I know what I believe is the truth, and I don't believe you. But I had nothing to do with no one's death. Friends?"

"Sure, but if I find out you did have something to do with it, I'll tell Gemma." He said. His threat was serious, but I knew it wouldn't happen. I had nothing to do with anyone's death. I'd hate to think about what would happen to me if I did though.

We still didn't talk much, but after driving eight hours, I was tired as hell so pulled into a small motel in some town I can't even remember the name of. I got my room and expected Juice to get his, but nope, he apparently 'wasn't wasting his money when my room had two beds'.

The motel wasn't a roach motel, but it was pretty ghetto looking. But oh well, it would work. I grabbed my green clothes bag and headed into the bathroom and took a shower and changed into my pajamas - my favorite shirt that I didn't like to wear in public and was pretty sure would retire to my closet once Daisy learned to read because it said 'Get me drunk and enjoy the show' and a pair of bright pink short shorts. I brushed my teeth and headed back into the room. Juice wasn't there so I took the time to untense from the 'road trip' as Gemma refered to it earlier that day the only way I knew how - yoga.

I was in the middle of doing the one leg inverted staff pose when all of a sudden a voice said, "How the fuck can you do that?" causing me to literally tumble over. Damn Juice.

"Its called yoga." I said.

"I know that but why would you even wanna?" He asked a look of genuine confusion on his face.

"It increases strength, and flexibility which is important for work. And it calms me down." I said standind up.

When I did stand up, he asked "Where do you work anyways? Gemma wouldn't tell anyone when they -" He stopped because he was laughing.

"Now what the fuck?" I asked. I did not like being laughed at. I have had my fair share of being the butt of everyone's joke for being the odd one that didn't fit in because I didn't have the right clothes or friends.

"Nice shirt." He said and I blushed. I had totally forgot what shirt I was wearing.

"Go to hell." I said while getting on my bed and grabbing my ipod and putting my headphones in my ears. I put on some rap and fell asleep after the second song, completely ignoring Juice.

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><p><strong>Soo.. how am I doing with details? It it better or worse? Your feedback is very important to me, and I appreciate each and every review. And don't worry about hurting my feelings about this stuff, in my mind my stories suck lol, don't ask me why, so you won't hurt my feelings one little bit.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6 Truth Hurts, Lies Are Worse

**A/N: I own nothing SOA related, just my ideas. **

**Reviews are always helpful, just sayin' (:**

**Sorry for any spelling mistakes.**

**So this chapter you'll find out why and what exactly happened to Haylee's dad.**

**I hope you enjoy, and I'll try to put in as much detail as possible.**

**Have a good day!**

**-Mwahwee **

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 6<em>**

**_Truth Hurts, Lies Are Worse_**

The rest of the trip went by without a hitch. Juice and I got to know a little bit about each other, but I could tell he was keeping his guard up while talking to me, and honestly, if I was in his shoes I'd do the exact damn thing. But we were only about thirty minutes from our destination and I was freaking out. I don't know why, because there was just no way Gretchen could have anything to do with this. My mom, maybe, but Gretchen would have told me about it. Right?

"What are you going to do when you find out I'm right?" Juice said smiling at me. Sure, we were trying not to be enemies, but friends instead, but he was treading water and about to fall in if he wasn't careful right about now.

Trying to keep my calm, I decided not to reply. We pulled up at Best Burger's and I got out of the car and straightened out yellow sundress, and pulled on my blue jean jacket. Sure glad I'm not wearing flip flops I thought to myself.

"You want me to go in with you?" Juice asked.

"No thanks." I said and walked into the restraunt.

I looked around and realized I wouldn't actually know what my mom would look like. She's older and clean.. hmm.. I'm pretty sure I found her when some one called out, "Haylee over here!"

I walked over and sat down, she did look clean. Good even. It pissed me off that she decided to get clean now instead of I don't know maybe getting clean when she had two children too take care of?

"You've grown up so much baby!" She said smiling at me. Her once ratty hair was now short and neat. She had light makeup on a loosed long sleeve tee and mom jeans.

"It has been twelve years. You look clean." I said bitterly.

"Two years and going strong." She said giving me another smile.

"Thats good, but enough with the small talk. What happened to my daddy?" I said getting straight to my point. There was no use for exchanging nice words with this woman.

"I'm so sorry for everything I put you through. I hope one day I can make it up to you." She said avoiding my question. Suspicious.

"Telling me what happened to my dad is a perfect start." I said not even bothering to use my best I'm going to get my way smile.

"Well I guess. Okay so it was summer and we were living in Brooklyn, and not the nice part of it either." She said her face in disgust before taking a sip of her coke and continuing "Your dad was completely in love with me, like head over heels, he left his family to be with me. I had a secret when we got together though, Gretchen was my secret. Your dad thought she was his up until the day he died." She said taking another sip of her coke.

"Gretchen always told me dad knew he wasn't her biological dad." I said. So far got Gretchen in lie #1 if my mom was telling the truth. The question was: Is she? If her and Juice's story's match up, she is. If not, she isn't. I mean it isn't like they would both be able to tell the same story the same way if it wasn't true.

"Gretchen met her dad when she was ten. Loved him to death, but I guess she gets that from me cause I loved Vincent too. Anyways, I know you may not believe it or not, but I love you so much, always have always will. Thats why when your dad said he was leaving me, me and your sister didn't take it well." She said moving her eyes from mine. Shit. What does this mean? I decided to play dumb, which was how I felt. I looked at her with a confused look on my face.

"Well, your sister went crying to Vincent and he told her how to handle it. Gretchen came to me told me everything that Vincent said and showed me a glock. She said no one would ever take her baby sister away. She loved you so much. So your dad came home you were asleep on the couch. Your sister shot him, like she was some mama bear protecting her young or something. That woke you up and you screamed. I was so proud of her for protecting you." My mom said smiling. How the fuck could she be smiling. I just wanted to rip her fucking face off, like so bad.

But that was not the route to go if I wanted all of my answers, so far Juice 1, Haylee 0. God, that pissed me off. I hated being wrong, but it also hurt me so much that my sister, one of the only people I trusted for so long, killed my dad.

"Protecting me from what exactly?" I said trying to remain calm. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been this mad.

"Your father's family. Well his sister, Gemma in particular. Never liked her. Her husband started some biker club. She's just a bad person." Alice, my mother, said slightly raising her nose in the air.

"Did Gretchen kill anyone else that night?" I said struggling to keep my calm. I could lose it later, after I got all my details. But her saying shit about Gemma pissed me off. Gemma may have been a bit nosy, but you treat her with respect, she seems to treat you with respect.

"Our neighbor. You screamed then too. Gretchen comforted you though. Had a little boy he was so adorable. Use to joke with her that he was going to end up marrying you one day. You, him, and your sister played alot together, but you and him talk about inseperable. Never knew what happened too him." She said like she was deep in thought about what happened to who I assumed was Juice.

"Why?" I said the last of my calm leaving my body, and the rage kicking in.

"I couldn't lose you. I did feel bad afterward though it really took a toll on your sister." She said obviously not giving a fuck what it did to me, or hell even Juice.

I lunged for her. See when I fight I 'see black' meaning a pretty much black out and let my body take over. First thing I remember doing is lunging at her and slamming her hair against the ceramic floor then the last thing is getting pulled off and still kicking her. Then my whole world went black and I assumed I passed out.

I woke up and was in the passenger seat of Gemma's car and it was being drove by Juice. Then the events of the day came flooding back to me. Mom's truth, the fight, Juice pulling me off of her. _Gretchen killed him, Gretchen killed him, Gretchen fucking killed him._

"Sorry." I said to Juice and my voice was hoarse. How long had we been in the car?

"Nobody wants to believe the worst in their family." Juice said sumpathetically and thats when I realized the tears that had been falling. I don't even know how to describe how I feel. Its like a mixture of anger, sadness, empathy, and calm. I was angry at Gretchen for many reason: she killed my father, lied about it, and made me believe my dad didn't fucking want me when things got tough. I was sad because he was gone, really gone. He didn't ditch me; he wanted to save me from my mother. I felt empathy towards Juice because he lost his mother all because she was at the wrong place at the wrong time. And I felt calm because I finally knew the truth.

"Why'd you pull me off of her?" I said taking a drink of my god only knows how many hours old water.

"Because Gemma would cut my dick off and force feed it to me if I let you get arrested." He said slightly laughing. Obviously he was trying to make me feel better, but I don't know if I'll ever feel better. I think I hit rock bottom, and I know they say that the way you can go is up from there, but I didn't think that was humanly possible.

"He was going to take me away from them. Th-thats why they killed him." I said sobbing.

Juice was quiet. I guess he probally didn't exactly know what to say, and he himself was probally digesting the information.

About ten minutes later of thinking and silence, Juice pulled into a motel. He went up to the desk got a room and drove around and parked in front of it. I didn't take time to look around as to what it looked like. I just flopped down on the bed, ready to dissapear.

"You hungry or something? You didn't eat all day." He said with genuine concern in his voice. Yeah I was too nervous to eat before I met with my mom, I obviously didn't eat with her at the restraunt, but I wasn't hungry.

What confused me though was why Juice was being nice to me, so I'm a pretty straight forward person and I decided to find out, "Why are you being nice to mean. I mean my mother pretty much gave my sister permission to kill your mother and I was there and didn't remember squat!" I practically shouted. I was upset, very much so.

"Well, seeing you beat your mothers face in made me realize you didn't having anything to do with it. And we use to be friends in all, and yeah." He said scratching the back of his head.

"I don't deserve your kindness. I got my daddy and your mom killed!" I said, because it was how I felt. If I had never been born, none of this would of happened.

"I'm only going to tell you this once. It is not your fault!" He said raising his voice slightly.

I guess deep down I knew that, but still I couldn't help but feel like it is all my fault. I mean how would you feel in a situation like that? Uh - huh exactly what I thought.

"I'm going to call Gemma and let her know the trip might be extended a few days. Don't do anything crazy while I'm gone." He said to me like he was talking to a suicidal person or a child. Why does bad shit always happen to me? Why?

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><p><strong>So what did you think? I was thinking between Juice's and Alice's stories is should be pieced together okay. If you feel like something's missing, I'm sorry but that's all thats being said about what actually happened.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7 Holy Shit

**So, I'm really glad y'all like where I'm going with this story! **

**I have the next few chapters planned, but not written so I'll try to update as regularly as I can.**

**Also, looking back at the first chapter, its made me realize this story has all but taken on a life of its own. **

**Reviews are awesome! Just getting that out there! (:**

**Have a good day!**

**-Mwahwee!(:**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 7<strong>_

_**Holy Shit.**_

I woke up the following morning feeling better, like call me crazy but I just felt better. I guess I just accepted it, My dad was dead. My sister killed him. As horrible as that is, I'm going to leave the past where it belongs - behind me. Unless it finds a way to come back, I won't bring it up again, well at least not until I tell Gemma. I mean after all Nate Madock Jr. was her brother. She deserved to know.

I opened my eyes and Juice was in the other bed still sleeping. He was cute when he was sleeping. Thats when a memory hit me:

_"Juan your mommy said to get up now!" Five or six year old me yelled at a sleeping boy, Juice._

_"Go away Haylee." He said rubbing his eyes._

_"NO! We're suspose to play today now wake up." I said losing my temper at the sleeping boy. _

_When I mentioned the words play he was up in no time. _

"Holy shit." I said to myself. How come these memories came back now? Why didn't I remember then?

"What's going on?" Juice said sleepily.

"Nothing. Just remembered something." I said not wanting to go in details because frankly, I was quite confused.

"Well what is it?" He asked sitting up.

"You were a cute little kid." I said leaving it at that. I grabbed my bag which Juice had apparently brought in last night and headed for the shower to avoid further questions.

I guess there's a reason my favorite saying is Carpe Diem - seize the day. To me it means just cause you had a shitty past doesn't define what you can do today.

I climbed out of the showed and put on a pair of boot cut jeans and a plain grey v-neck tee and headed out of the bathroom. Juice was sitting on the bed exactly where I left him about thirty minutes ago.

"You remember something?" He asked me.

I sat down beside him and said "Well I dreamt of something, so my subconscious did?" I was trying to find the right words to explain it.

"Oh. What was it?" He asked slightly cheery.

"Me trying to get your ass up to come play with me." I said smiling.

"Really? You must of done that fifty times." Juice said smiling also. He was kinda hot in the slightly dumb biker sorta way. But I do have to give him credit: he is alot smarter than people give him credit for.

"Seriously? Why would I wanna play with you? Aren't boys suppose to have cooties at that age?" I said jokingly.

He smiled and said, "You were in love with me just face it." Then I burst out laughing.

"Yeah that must of been it." I replied still laughing.

"Yupp." He said. Then he leaned in and kissed me. I deepened the kiss my tongue seeking entrance and him granting it. About five minutes of hard core making out later I snapped back to reality.

"I gotta call Gemma." I lied and raced into the bathroom.

"Get it together Haylee." I said to myself. After everything I just found out, here I was making out with Juice? No, that doesn't make sense, but I did it anyways. Man, I'm stupid.

I decided to call the one person in the world who I knew wouldn't judge me - Jane.

"Hey if it isn't miss leaves town and doesn't call her best friend." Jane said. From the tone of her voice I could tell she was joking.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me?" I said pretending to beg for her forgiveness.

"Fine babe last time. So you hooked up with any surfer boys?" She said with slight laughter. Leave it to my best friend to not ask 'hey how ya doing' 'what's up', but nope, she wants to know if I 'got some'.

"Nope. Haven't even met any surfer boys. Damn my luck." I said giggling. Leave it to Jane to make me feel better.

"So I was thinking I miss you skank. I was thinking about visiting next month." Jane said.

"Seriously?" I shouted. I was so happy.

"Ain't I always?" She asked laughing.

"Haylee you okay in there?" Juice shouted through the door obviously thinking me shouting was a bad thing.

"Fine Juice." I shouted back.

"Juice.. Who's Juice? And you better tell me the truth cause I know when your lying." Jane asked obviously thinking this was something it wasn't.

"Juice is a guy I met when I moved to Charming. We're just friends." I said saying my words carefully.

"What kind of friends? You done the dirty yet?" She asked. I swear Jane has a one track mind.

"Just plain old friends. Like you and me." I said then regretted the words once they came out of my mouth.

"Oh.. I see.. You do remember when you went through that bi curious phase right?" She said hoping she would get details when there weren't details to give.

"Gotta go." I said and hung up the phone. So what if I went through a phase? Thats a part of growing up, but that was one face I didn't like to be mentioned. Not that I got a problem against gays or anything, but hey thats just not my thing.

I regained my composure and walked out of the bathroom.

"Ready to go?" I asked Juice. I was ready to go back to Charming, tell Gemma about New York, and then leave it in the past.

"Sure." Juice said. Then we headed out to Gemma's car and loaded our bags up.

I grabbed my favorite mix CD and put it in. Snap Yo Fingers by Lil John greeted me and we were headed back to Charming.


End file.
